Credits of the enticing empty

Credits of the enticing empty

Here’s to the side I didn’t show you… a small hint of hope I had to pretend I didn’t have so you couldn’t perceive. Forgive the brag tone, but on my defense I’m having one of those movie ending moments where the teen narrates something that gives you goosebumps, purportedly.

And so about the part I will continue to riddle. A fierce war you launched to invade me and succeeded causing utmost casualty, and I took it all in… I was the punching bag. Yet I ask forgiveness again for this time the movie’s narration ended and it’s on the part where the soundtrack hits me, impeding me in time only to realize it takes something great to see how dreadful you’ve been, how torn and reaped apart you came so close to being.

I’d like to go back  and do it all differently, spare myself the burden… keep my thoughts affiliated than to have them collided, shuffled and scattered all over, compelling me to bleed it out instead of choosing to depart from the arrays of agony.

…You know, it beats me still… how much good was lost in all this. Guilt, desperation, all the things we shared by lack of choice got me thinking today as I walked in such a clichéé slow motion, earphones and loud music… how could I have been so blinded for so long?

Every war has an enemy, and you didn’t win because you outnumbered or outgunned me, you only won because I had already surrendered to the biggest battle against myself, way long before you showed up, and so when you walked in the shattered gates, my mislaid innocence saw the ruins in me and you standing with your army of broken promises right in the middle of it, so I knelt before you… and you didn’t hesitate to take all the praising, as you knew your ways around my defense… my altruism.

In due course though, every movie however embellished it might be, must come to an end, and how did I narrate my so-called ending? Well, it sounded word for word like this…

“I now know words like ‘never’ or ‘forever and always’ have their limits. I feel my youth fleeting. And the spare parts don’t trust me enough to stay under my protection… they tell me you are vile and won’t stay if I keep you. A quarter life I blew on you… I must admit I miss the torture, but I am dusting the ash now and crazy loving the freedom, for my hidden part was strong enough to turn your quake into an Aftershock, your storms into a hurricane and your fire into a blazing Sun, only to build itself up.”

and as for the soundtrack of the movie I (dare I say) without a choice, starred in… The beat in my earphone I felt sync with my heart was Firestone by kygo.

So tell me Alice, in a war you are so ardent of winning… planning your routine of deceiving nature against my predictable defense once more… how was my riddle for a surprising offense? Turning your emptying lies into my unannounced resurgence.

By Hibrenigus Samson

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